I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
