why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
