i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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