She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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