Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
