The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
