Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
