He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
