32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Randomize
