My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
a search helicopter?!
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
