we have pet lesbian snakes
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
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