I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
