just come out here and I will go home with you...
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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