you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
