so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
