I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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