Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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