She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
My ass is underappreciated
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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