So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Randomize
