Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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