haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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