you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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