we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
