Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
oh god the rape fog is back!
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
