Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
