chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
