so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
she smelled like a LAN party
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
