i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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