It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
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