Joe is yelling at the trees again.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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