..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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