Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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