You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize