I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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