Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
