What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I am mentally ready for anal.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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