Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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