We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
