We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Randomize
