Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
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