This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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