her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
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