no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
