Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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