He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
