so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
