I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
