I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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