I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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