its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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