There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
My vagina is very pro this idea
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
