i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
