I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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