So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
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