I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize