I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
