I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
