shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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