I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
