Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
