I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
