Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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