I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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