okay pat passed out under dana's car
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
