we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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