I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Your tits are I can't wait for
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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