then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
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