you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
It's just like the Real World with babies
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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