Are we in a gay sports bar?
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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