Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Randomize
